So. I saw someone on T.V. wirting a blog and thought, hey why not me, so here goes... I'm a 21 yr old senior at an HBCU at which I'm very proud to be student. I am active, popular, smart, but one of the lonliest people here with a GPA that aint bad but could be better. I have friends, well associates, and I had "tru blues" for a while until...well, what always happens especially with my female friends. We just don't talk anymore. It wasn"t even a 'we lost touch kind of thing.' Our entire relationship just died, and if it ain't dead its in the ICU in a coma. So the best friends I made my freshamn year here, don't talk to me now and we're about to graduate, well those of us that are still attending school. No, I didn't sleep with anyone's man. No, I didn't talk about them behind their back , though they may have done that to me a couple times. I was a good friend sistah-friend. So what happened?

Besides that, I am dating someone great, but I don't know why I'm dating him. I'm not sure if its because he really is great or if its because he thinks I'm great. I don't know if I'm falling for him or for the validation he gives me.I was hurt and am not sure if I'm over the pain of that love lost, especially now with the girls who that whole drama are "gone" too. I'm so confused. About alot of things.Thats why this is, "the best of times..."

Moreover, I find myself remembering all the crap I've been through and wondering if my feelings are normal for a 21 yr old or am I freaking out? Which is it? I've also been reading those " young, black, successful, female" books alot lately and find myslef dreaming about the future. I'm a successful journalist with my Master's from Columbia, living alone in my N.Y. Loft, under thirty yrs of age, under 160 lbs, and I type, read, do yoga, and drink chai tea (yumm). Does that sound like tooo much to ask? I want to know what it is belong to a girly-girl sorority, do brunch with my sadity girl friends and shop or go the spa for therapy. I want to be invited to Martha's Vineyard, far away from the hood in Cols, Oh where I grew up. I will never forget God or from whence I 've come but it would still be nice to be able to have something waaaayyyy better to comapare and contrast.

Well, I'm not sure if I'm doing this blog thing right, but it felt pretty good. I have a paper to write before 5 so I guess I should go now and write something later.

Until next time....